Kestrell

Kes: I'm a little confused regarding who originally posted this in my LJ (it was either cvirtue or valkyri), but I felt the need to reply in an actual post, because this almost happened to me so I just want to take this opportunity to ask, Hey, crazy eyeball-enabled people! Is there something about an eye patch which says, "Muuuuust...touch...!"

Anyway, because my life is rich in irony I was in Man Ray, standing at the bar, , sipping a vampire (it's a drink), and wearing a PVC dress and four-inch heels (I was twenty pounds lighter in those days), when someone said, "Oo! cool eyepatch!" and reached to grab it while I basically said, "Back off, bat boy, it's functional!".

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Original comment left on my LJ
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Just read this over on Not Always Right and was really amused, and I hope you will be also:

(I’m the only employee still working a cash register late one night. I’ve got a long line, and the next customer keeps glaring at me.)

Me: “Hello, miss, sorry about the wait. Did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “I’m so sick of you people.”

Me: “Of who?”

Customer: “First, that awful girl stacking the shelves with the pink hair, and now you with that… thing on your face! Why are you brats so desperate for attention?”

(Two years ago, I lost my right eye in an accident. I wear an eyepatch now.)

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a fashion statement, I really need—”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

(Without warning, she lunges across the counter and grabs the patch, snapping the cord and pulling it off. She laughs with triumph for about a second before she sees my empty eye socket.)

Customer: *screams and runs out of the store, leaving her items but taking the eyepatch*

(That customer never came back. Fortunately, I have a lot of spare
eyepatches, but I had to finish the rest of my shift that night with a paper bandage over the socket.)

On Saturday I dragged Alexx to the Antiquarian Book Fair. While all of the books were way out of our budget I am fascinated by all the unusual books, eccentric subjects, and luxurious bindings to be found at the book fair.

Here are some of the strange and wonderful things which we discovered at the fair.

1. A box of antique glass Eyes, arranged in a wooden tray like a ring tray. Despite the fact that glass eyes are often portrayed as being incredibly fake-looking, these seemed to be of a similar quality to my own 21st century prosthetic eyes. Traditionally there were families or even entire towns which made these eyes, and thus their production was indeed viewed as something of an art. This set of eyes would, I think, still make quite a wonderful ingredient for a contemporary artist. The price for the entire collection was $6500, available from B & L Rootenberg, Rare books & Manuscripts http://www.rootenbergbooks.com

2. Printed Cookbooks in Europe, 14701700 by Henry Notaker (Oak Knoll Press, 2010) Hardcover, 395 pp. $125

3. The most gorgeous book I saw and the only one which I really lusted after--it had an unfortunate $400 price tag--was _Little Red_ by Dorothy Simpson Krause. Krause is truly an artist, and everything from the text to the illustrations was just gorgeous. The story itself was a very Angela Carterestque sort of fairy tale, but also very sensual. (Note that this book should not be confused with the similarly titled _Little Red and the Wolf_ by Alison Paige, although the latter looks like a tantalizing paranormal romance). Krause also wrote _Book + Art: Handcrafting Artists' Books_ (North Light Books, 2009), which I may have to get.

4. _The Dark Page_, a book which features the original books upon which film noir was based.

5. And because I know some of my fellow readers are intrigued by the eccentric and the bizarre, I recommend Garrett Scott, Bookseller http://www.bibliophagist.com/
"uncommon 19th and early 20th century books, pamphlets and ephemera"
The uncommon reader may discover a pamphlet titled "How to Goblinproof Your Chicken Coop" or a Canadian pamphlet on the subject of the "Vampire Fiends" who enforce compulsory vaccinations. One book seemed to be the memoirs of a squirrel, described as "the pinnacle of squirrel fiction." Mr. Scott was also offering various catalogues, including one specifically on the subject of UFO and other paranormal science. While most of the books are probably too pricey for most of us, just browsing the catalogues is fascinating, while Mr. Scott's book descriptions are quite amusing and witty.

I think I need to learn to crochet
http://www.crochetpatterncentral.com/directory/halloween.php