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kestrellKes: I'm a little confused regarding who originally posted this in my LJ (it was either cvirtue or valkyri), but I felt the need to reply in an actual post, because this almost happened to me so I just want to take this opportunity to ask, Hey, crazy eyeball-enabled people! Is there something about an eye patch which says, "Muuuuust...touch...!"
Anyway, because my life is rich in irony I was in Man Ray, standing at the bar, , sipping a vampire (it's a drink), and wearing a PVC dress and four-inch heels (I was twenty pounds lighter in those days), when someone said, "Oo! cool eyepatch!" and reached to grab it while I basically said, "Back off, bat boy, it's functional!".
lj-cut text="story involving eyepatch humor below cut">
Original comment left on my LJ
block quote start
Just read this over on Not Always Right and was really amused, and I hope you will be also:
(I’m the only employee still working a cash register late one night. I’ve got a long line, and the next customer keeps glaring at me.)
Me: “Hello, miss, sorry about the wait. Did you find everything all right?”
Customer: “I’m so sick of you people.”
Me: “Of who?”
Customer: “First, that awful girl stacking the shelves with the pink hair, and now you with that… thing on your face! Why are you brats so desperate for attention?”
(Two years ago, I lost my right eye in an accident. I wear an eyepatch now.)
Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a fashion statement, I really need—”
Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”
(Without warning, she lunges across the counter and grabs the patch, snapping the cord and pulling it off. She laughs with triumph for about a second before she sees my empty eye socket.)
Customer: *screams and runs out of the store, leaving her items but taking the eyepatch*
(That customer never came back. Fortunately, I have a lot of spare
eyepatches, but I had to finish the rest of my shift that night with a paper bandage over the socket.)
Anyway, because my life is rich in irony I was in Man Ray, standing at the bar, , sipping a vampire (it's a drink), and wearing a PVC dress and four-inch heels (I was twenty pounds lighter in those days), when someone said, "Oo! cool eyepatch!" and reached to grab it while I basically said, "Back off, bat boy, it's functional!".
lj-cut text="story involving eyepatch humor below cut">
Original comment left on my LJ
block quote start
Just read this over on Not Always Right and was really amused, and I hope you will be also:
(I’m the only employee still working a cash register late one night. I’ve got a long line, and the next customer keeps glaring at me.)
Me: “Hello, miss, sorry about the wait. Did you find everything all right?”
Customer: “I’m so sick of you people.”
Me: “Of who?”
Customer: “First, that awful girl stacking the shelves with the pink hair, and now you with that… thing on your face! Why are you brats so desperate for attention?”
(Two years ago, I lost my right eye in an accident. I wear an eyepatch now.)
Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a fashion statement, I really need—”
Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”
(Without warning, she lunges across the counter and grabs the patch, snapping the cord and pulling it off. She laughs with triumph for about a second before she sees my empty eye socket.)
Customer: *screams and runs out of the store, leaving her items but taking the eyepatch*
(That customer never came back. Fortunately, I have a lot of spare
eyepatches, but I had to finish the rest of my shift that night with a paper bandage over the socket.)
