200 books in 2012
Dec. 26th, 2012 11:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kestrellI just finished reading my 200th book of 2012, _Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores_ by Jen Campbell (2012), which Alexx gave me for Christmas.
There are heaps of amusing bits in it, but I couldn't help feeling, as I read it, that it was the literary equivalent of rubber-necking at a traffic accident.
Here are a few tidbits which I thought my friends would find particularly amusing.
(Customer brings The Lord of the Rings trilogy to the counter)
Customer: I am Legolas and I need to spread the word about The Lord of The Rings. I need to have this book for free.
Bookseller: No, I'm sorry, I can't give you the book for free.
Customer's friend: You have failed your quest!
(At a university bookstore)
Customer: I'm looking for a book for my Northern Anthropology Class.
Bookseller: I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that class. Do you know the title, or have your syllabus with you?
Customer: No.
Bookseller: Right. What's your overall course in?
Customer: Literature.
Bookseller: Oh. (pause) So, not anthropology?
Customer: No.
Bookseller: Right. Are you looking for the Norton Anthology!
Customer: Yes, that's it!
Customer: Excuse me, but do you have Flowers for Arugula?
Daughter: Dad, will you buy me that book?
Dad: Which book?
Daughter: Fifty Shades of Grey.
Dad: No!
Daughter: Please?
Dad: No!
Mom: I have it, I'll lend it to you.
Dad (in the tone of one deeply betrayed): Why do you have it?
Mom (calmly): It was for the neighborhood book club.
Daughter: Nevermind.
Bookseller (on the phone): Hello, Ripping Yarns Bookstore.
Customer: Hi. Do you have any mohair wool?
Bookseller: Sorry, we're not a yarns store, we're a bookstore.
Customer: You're called Ripping Yarns.
Bookseller: Yes, that's "yarns" as in stories,
Customer: Well it's a stupid name.
Bookseller: It's a Monty Python reference.
Customer: So, you don't sell wool?
Bookseller: No.
Customer: Hmph. That's ridiculous.
Bookseller:... But we do sell dead parrots.
Customer: What?
Bookseller: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one?
Customer: Erm, no.
Bookseller: Ok, well, if you change your mind, do call back.
There are heaps of amusing bits in it, but I couldn't help feeling, as I read it, that it was the literary equivalent of rubber-necking at a traffic accident.
Here are a few tidbits which I thought my friends would find particularly amusing.
(Customer brings The Lord of the Rings trilogy to the counter)
Customer: I am Legolas and I need to spread the word about The Lord of The Rings. I need to have this book for free.
Bookseller: No, I'm sorry, I can't give you the book for free.
Customer's friend: You have failed your quest!
(At a university bookstore)
Customer: I'm looking for a book for my Northern Anthropology Class.
Bookseller: I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that class. Do you know the title, or have your syllabus with you?
Customer: No.
Bookseller: Right. What's your overall course in?
Customer: Literature.
Bookseller: Oh. (pause) So, not anthropology?
Customer: No.
Bookseller: Right. Are you looking for the Norton Anthology!
Customer: Yes, that's it!
Customer: Excuse me, but do you have Flowers for Arugula?
Daughter: Dad, will you buy me that book?
Dad: Which book?
Daughter: Fifty Shades of Grey.
Dad: No!
Daughter: Please?
Dad: No!
Mom: I have it, I'll lend it to you.
Dad (in the tone of one deeply betrayed): Why do you have it?
Mom (calmly): It was for the neighborhood book club.
Daughter: Nevermind.
Bookseller (on the phone): Hello, Ripping Yarns Bookstore.
Customer: Hi. Do you have any mohair wool?
Bookseller: Sorry, we're not a yarns store, we're a bookstore.
Customer: You're called Ripping Yarns.
Bookseller: Yes, that's "yarns" as in stories,
Customer: Well it's a stupid name.
Bookseller: It's a Monty Python reference.
Customer: So, you don't sell wool?
Bookseller: No.
Customer: Hmph. That's ridiculous.
Bookseller:... But we do sell dead parrots.
Customer: What?
Bookseller: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one?
Customer: Erm, no.
Bookseller: Ok, well, if you change your mind, do call back.
no subject
Date: 2012-12-26 06:21 pm (UTC)(Really, though, if I wanted to buy actual wool, I'd stay away from a store called Ripping Yarns...)
And, the word geek in me has to point out that "yarn" for "Story" is far older than Monty Python. [/pedant]
no subject
Date: 2012-12-26 06:58 pm (UTC)Also, there is an entire chapter of this book which addresses all the weird things people have walked in and asked for. You would think that the word "bookstore" would provide enough of a clue, but sadly, many sighted people do not seem to maintain a robust brain-eyeball connection.