200 books in 2012
Dec. 26th, 2012 11:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kestrellI just finished reading my 200th book of 2012, _Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores_ by Jen Campbell (2012), which Alexx gave me for Christmas.
There are heaps of amusing bits in it, but I couldn't help feeling, as I read it, that it was the literary equivalent of rubber-necking at a traffic accident.
Here are a few tidbits which I thought my friends would find particularly amusing.
(Customer brings The Lord of the Rings trilogy to the counter)
Customer: I am Legolas and I need to spread the word about The Lord of The Rings. I need to have this book for free.
Bookseller: No, I'm sorry, I can't give you the book for free.
Customer's friend: You have failed your quest!
(At a university bookstore)
Customer: I'm looking for a book for my Northern Anthropology Class.
Bookseller: I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that class. Do you know the title, or have your syllabus with you?
Customer: No.
Bookseller: Right. What's your overall course in?
Customer: Literature.
Bookseller: Oh. (pause) So, not anthropology?
Customer: No.
Bookseller: Right. Are you looking for the Norton Anthology!
Customer: Yes, that's it!
Customer: Excuse me, but do you have Flowers for Arugula?
Daughter: Dad, will you buy me that book?
Dad: Which book?
Daughter: Fifty Shades of Grey.
Dad: No!
Daughter: Please?
Dad: No!
Mom: I have it, I'll lend it to you.
Dad (in the tone of one deeply betrayed): Why do you have it?
Mom (calmly): It was for the neighborhood book club.
Daughter: Nevermind.
Bookseller (on the phone): Hello, Ripping Yarns Bookstore.
Customer: Hi. Do you have any mohair wool?
Bookseller: Sorry, we're not a yarns store, we're a bookstore.
Customer: You're called Ripping Yarns.
Bookseller: Yes, that's "yarns" as in stories,
Customer: Well it's a stupid name.
Bookseller: It's a Monty Python reference.
Customer: So, you don't sell wool?
Bookseller: No.
Customer: Hmph. That's ridiculous.
Bookseller:... But we do sell dead parrots.
Customer: What?
Bookseller: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one?
Customer: Erm, no.
Bookseller: Ok, well, if you change your mind, do call back.
There are heaps of amusing bits in it, but I couldn't help feeling, as I read it, that it was the literary equivalent of rubber-necking at a traffic accident.
Here are a few tidbits which I thought my friends would find particularly amusing.
(Customer brings The Lord of the Rings trilogy to the counter)
Customer: I am Legolas and I need to spread the word about The Lord of The Rings. I need to have this book for free.
Bookseller: No, I'm sorry, I can't give you the book for free.
Customer's friend: You have failed your quest!
(At a university bookstore)
Customer: I'm looking for a book for my Northern Anthropology Class.
Bookseller: I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that class. Do you know the title, or have your syllabus with you?
Customer: No.
Bookseller: Right. What's your overall course in?
Customer: Literature.
Bookseller: Oh. (pause) So, not anthropology?
Customer: No.
Bookseller: Right. Are you looking for the Norton Anthology!
Customer: Yes, that's it!
Customer: Excuse me, but do you have Flowers for Arugula?
Daughter: Dad, will you buy me that book?
Dad: Which book?
Daughter: Fifty Shades of Grey.
Dad: No!
Daughter: Please?
Dad: No!
Mom: I have it, I'll lend it to you.
Dad (in the tone of one deeply betrayed): Why do you have it?
Mom (calmly): It was for the neighborhood book club.
Daughter: Nevermind.
Bookseller (on the phone): Hello, Ripping Yarns Bookstore.
Customer: Hi. Do you have any mohair wool?
Bookseller: Sorry, we're not a yarns store, we're a bookstore.
Customer: You're called Ripping Yarns.
Bookseller: Yes, that's "yarns" as in stories,
Customer: Well it's a stupid name.
Bookseller: It's a Monty Python reference.
Customer: So, you don't sell wool?
Bookseller: No.
Customer: Hmph. That's ridiculous.
Bookseller:... But we do sell dead parrots.
Customer: What?
Bookseller: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one?
Customer: Erm, no.
Bookseller: Ok, well, if you change your mind, do call back.
