Results of hearing test

I just got back from the audiologist. I've been experiencing significant hearing loss in my left ear, mostly in missing conversations when there is background noise and, when using headphones, hearing the sound in the left earphone as high and tinny. The really big issue though is that you need two good ears for echolocation, so I've been having lots of trouble tracking people in my proximity and bumping into housemates a lot more often.

The audiologist was a middle-aged woman with an alto voice, and we went through a number of hearing tests. The right ear is normal, and the middle ear of the left ear is fine. Then there was this test where I sat in a sound booth with headphones on and the audiologist spoke words through the headphones and I was supposed to repeat the words, "cupcake," "sailboat," "playground."

Right ear, fine. Left ear--

suddenly Turret
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKVuPUY9D-A
is talking to me: "cupcake!."

So how does an alto voice turn into Turret? It seems I not only have a hearing loss (the left ear is operating at 78 percent), but there is a sound distortion occuring. A sound distortion that makes things in my left ear sound like Turret ("Hey! It's me!")

I now have an appt. with a doctor to find the medical cause of the hearing loss, because a hearing loss on only one side could be something related to my arthritis or fibromyalgia or possibly a tumor. The hearing loss is permanent, and I will be getting some sort of device, depending on the situation, perhaps a hearing aid or cochlear implant.

Now I'm going to go find out if I can tweak my text-to-speech program to sound like Turret.

Books! and books about New Orleans! and books about poetry!

I've been reading books about New Orleans and, from a book geek point of view, my favorite so far has been _New Orleans, Mon Amour_ by Andrei Codrescu (2006), because he name-drops a lot of other titles set in New Orleans, including _The Mysteries of New Orleans_, a nineteenth century gothic which I had never even heard of (have no fear, a copy is now on its way even as I write this).

It turns out I kind of like this Codrescu guy, so then I read _The Poetry Lesson_ (2010). _The Poetry Lesson_ is a fictionalized memoir about a university professor who is teaching the first class in a college course on poetry, which provides the opportunity to give a passionate defense of why poetry is still relevant, and to name-drop a bit about the poets with whom Codrescu has hung with, not to mention and flirted with their wives (oh, wait, tis is fictionalized memoir, so perhaps Codrescu himself has not actually done those things). I have the feeling this would be annoying if I had to sit through it in real life, but it makes a fun introduction to the poetry of the past four decades or so, about which I am sadly ignorant. Plus I love the idea of being assigned a "ghost companion" (GC), a poet to guide you through your poetry adventures. I wonder who my ghost companion would be?

After that, I was kind of digging the poetry thing, and it is poetry month, so I went ahead and read _The Anthologist_ by Nicholson Baker (2010), which is quieter but another poetry rollercoaster00and wouldn't that be a fantastic surreal project, The Poetry Rollercoaster?--with a perfect final page.

I plan on taking Codrescu's _The Posthuman Dada Guide_ (2009) with me to read in New Orleans, Codrescu's adopted city (Codrescu claims everyone who lives in New Orleans is a surrealist), and next I plan on reading Codrescu's _Messiah_ (1999), which is his version of what happens when the Messiah shows up in modern N.O. Thus, I was amused to read on the Amazon.com blog that James Free has a new book coming out
_The Final Testament of the Holy Bible_
http://www.omnivoracious.com/2011/04/final-testament-holy-bible-james-frey-interview.html
which is being hyped as a radical story about the coming of a modern Messiah, but my reaction was "Again??" because it seems to me this story comes along every few years. Also, I was intrigued not so much by the marketing of the book in two formats, a fifty dollar deluxe edition and a ten dollar digital edition, but by the way in which Free descried the two potential audiences:
block quote start
Frey: ...I think the future of publishing, or one version of it, is in physical books for collectors and serious fans and ebooks for mass distribution.
I believe in that future and want to be a part of it as early as possible.
block quote end
So being willing--not to mention, able--to pay $50 for a book is what makes you "serious", and ebooks are for what, non-serious readers?

And my favorite series set in New Orleans

has been Poppy Z. Brite's Liquor series, about two gay chefs who open a restaurant in N.O. The books are _Liquor_, _Soul Kitchen_, and _D*U*C*K*S_, although I'm hoping to find that there might be more. It's not horror, but for some reason I love these books more than Brite's horror. I saw a bit somewhere online where Brite mentioned loving these characters, and I think maybe that's what comes through. The writing is understated but hits all the notes which makes the characters feel like real people dealing with real life. Also, I *love* G-Man. Reading these books is what made me realize that, even though I am not a foodie and often feel intimidated by the sorts of restaurants whose chefs get reviews in magazines, I needed to go eat at The Green Goddess, because I don't want to be one of those people who have this still life of what New Orleans is as a place and a culture. Plus, they fry their potatos in duck fat and...have you *seen* their menu?