Why Hollywood scriptwriters remind me of some of my ex-boyfriends

Prompted by the big revelation of the final episode of Lost.

Me: I'm breaking up with you because you never seem interested in what I want.

XBF: What? I am too interested in what you want.

Me: No, you aren't. You say you are, but we always end up doing what you want while I sit around bored watching you do whatever it is you want to do, which is usually the same thing you did last time we spent time together. I don't think you take this relationship seriously.

XBF: I take our relationship seriously.

Me: No, you're just in it for what you can get, like my Neilsen rating. You're boring and predictible and I'm breaking up with you.

XBF: I'll change. Really. I want us to be together years from now.

Me: You said that last time I wanted to break up with you. And the time before that. I'm not falling for that line anymore. I feel like you're just going through the motions and not even trying to keep me interested. The last few times we were together, I found myself staring into space imagining doing something more exciting, like listening to paint dry.

XBF: I'm exciting.

Me: Sure you are, sweetie, and some day you'll find someone who can really appreciate everything you have to offer. I'm sure there are a lot of lonely invertebrates out there. Now this is me reaching for the remote.

XBF: No, wait! Don't leave me! I need you! Who's going to prop up my singking ratings?

Me: *Click*