Dear Thing in the Wall that lives next to my computer desk:

I understand that it is nesting season, and I'm okay with you choosing my aerie as the site for your home.

What I am not okay with is the constant tapping and scrabbling, which I can only guess is the bird equivalent of redecorating.

And at 5 a.m.?

You're like the Felix Unger of avians.

Chill out, or there will be consequences.

I still have plenty of shiny Mylar tape left, and I'm going to get it from the Closet of Mysteries *right now*..