Hah!

Now all you need are some "k-zowtch!" business cards to hand out to annoying people, where you can print a generic "you failed!" message.

I thought of you when I picked up my Onion this afternoon: a front page story & photo trumpets:
Bausch & Lomb Introduces Line of Aviator Contacts
and the photo shows a stern-looking white guy, lids wide open, with mirrors completely covering what's visible of his eyes.